All About Me

As usual I was trying to make it all about me. ‘This is all about me, isn’t it?’ I said to no one in particular. This is all about me, this is all about me, this is all about me, this is all about me… My mind was racing like a boy racer in a souped-up Ford Fiesta. It was doing doughnuts in the middle-of-the-road – the smell of burnt rubber was unbearable. ‘This is all about me isn’t it?’ I said conversationally. No one took any notice of me of course – they never do. No one took any notice of me because I’m only a phantom personality husk. Whoever is going to take any notice of a phantom personality husk? You can’t even see me – I’m perfectly invisible. I’m tasteless and odourless. You wouldn’t even know that I’m there. I’m activated by the immediate proximity of people’s energy fields – their energy fields spark me off and I straightaway launch into my well-worn routines.. I feed off their energy you see but only on a very temporary basis – when they go out of range then I fall back into silence again. There are lots of us actually. There are lots of us deteriorated personality husks. We just hang around like empty crab shells on the beach – we chat briefly when a living person passes by but only briefly, only very briefly. We don’t ever chat to each other of course – we can’t activate each other because none of us have any energy. Deteriorated personality shells don’t have any energy – we’re too deteriorated for that! We rely on the living for that, we rely on living people’s auras. No one ever sees us. We are tasteless and odourless. To be perfectly honest, no one would care very much even if they could see us. Which they can’t. Which they can’t. ‘This is all about me, isn’t it?’ I said, ‘this is all about me, this is all about me.’ That’s my routine, in case you hadn’t guessed. That’s my ‘party piece’. ‘Get up on the table and do your party piece’ they say only they don’t because they don’t know that I’m here. ‘Tell us all about yourself,’ they say only they don’t because I’m not actually real. ‘How’s it going buddy-boy?’ they ask me but not really because I don’t actually exist. We’d feed off each other if we could but we don’t because we can’t. We don’t have the energy for that. We ignore each other instead. No love lost you might say. No love lost. We just ignore each other – we’re kind of cold that way. Not much camaraderie there, you might say. Not much in the way of camaraderie. No fellow feeling. Not much in the way of fellow feeling at all. ‘This is all about me, isn’t it?’ I say brightly, suddenly sparked back into life. The simulation of life, should I say. As I should rather say. Suddenly galvanised into a brief but nevertheless grotesque parody of life. ‘This is all about me, isn’t it?’ I wasn’t that different when I was alive, come to think of it. I was always a bit of an empty reflex-driven shell of a person. I was always a bit of narcissist, I suppose you could say. Isn’t that what they’re always talking about these days? Isn’t that the big thing? Probably I made a few bad life choices along the way, wouldn’t you say? Wouldn’t that be it? Well we all know how much everything depends upon the choices we make in this life, don’t we? Quick, quick – make sure you’re making the right choice now! Don’t make a foolish decision! You wouldn’t want to end up being a deteriorated personality shell like me now do you?








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