People Are Such Bastards

People are such out-and-out bastards, aren’t they? I know this sounds like a real dumb kind of a thing to say, but it’s true though isn’t it? You know that it’s true as well as I do. People are such utter bastards, and not only this but they don’t even feel any shame about it. They actually feel proud of themselves on this account – they actually think being a total bastard is a good thing! Can you imagine that? These guys actually think that being a bastard is a good thing; when they think about some time or other when they had acted like a total bastard then they smile to themselves with satisfaction because they think ‘Yeah, that was a good thing that I got to do that because the other guy really deserved it.’ The other guy always deserves it, isn’t that right? The other guy always deserves it because the other guy is always a prick. Always a prick, always a prick, always a prick. What gets me about this is the ludicrous incongruity of it all – don’t you think if it were you then you might get just a little bit suspicious about this state of affairs? Don’t you think these guys would start to wonder about this and that they would say to themselves, ‘That’s a bit strange – how come it’s always the other guy that’s the prick and not me? How come it’s never me that’s the fuckwit, how come that – no matter what the situation – it’s always the other guy that’s the twat?‘ Of course this is a thought process that never actually happens. You can be sure that this particular thought process never ever happens! So let’s just think about this for a moment, shall we? Let’s just ponder it for a while. Let’s sit down and ponder it. There are all these out-and-out bastards out there and each and every one of them thinks everyone else is the twat and not them and not one of them ever stops to puzzle over the bizarrely incongruous fact that everyone else in the world is always wrong apart from them! You would think that they might get a tiny bit suspicious over this but no, that never happens. Just as a multi-coloured unicorn never comes cantering down the road to your house and starts eating away at the grass in your front garden, so too these guys that I’m designating as ‘out-and-out bastards’ never wonder why – incongruously – they always seem to themselves to be so justified in their obnoxious actions and their offensive opinions. Isn’t that a strange thing? Isn’t that absolutely astounding? How is it possible for such an omission of awareness to take place – that’s the question we would all like to ask, I’m sure. It’s like a kind of a miracle, to my mind, that anyone could go around being so incredibly unconscious of themselves. It surely breaks all the laws of physics, or something. It might be a miracle but, as we are bound to admit, it is a very common miracle. The world is after all – as I have already pointed out – chock-a-block full of out-and-out bastards…








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