It’s important to be right, isn’t it? That counts for a lot. We all understand – on a deep instinctive level – that it’s very important to be right and this is what sets us off quarrelling. Folk will quarrel about anything won’t they and this is what lies behind it – the unholy craving to be right.
The other side of the coin is – needless to say – that it doesn’t really matter what we are right about. We just have to be right about something. We just have to be right about some damn thing. Folk will fight over anything, won’t they? Folk will fight over which is the biggest pebble on the beach – this one or that one. Our eyes glaze over and we become ugly, real ugly. The situation turns real ugly real quickly. That’s what it all comes down to. It all comes down to how damn ugly things can get, and how fast. And before you know it a real unpleasant scene has developed and we’re all busy knocking ten shades of multi-coloured shyte out of each other…
That’s what political correctness is all about, isn’t it? Folk love to be right and there’s no better way to be right than to catch someone else out at being wrong! Indeed there isn’t, indeed there isn’t. When we catch someone else out being wrong then that feels so sweet, does it not? It feels so, so sweet. I can feel my mouth watering already, even just talking about it. I can feel that sweet euphoric kick in the pit of my stomach – I can’t even find the words to describe that very special feeling, that’s how good it is. I want to get down on my knees and pray to it. I want to say ‘Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, oh yes…’
You know I’m right, don’t you? You know I’m right about this unsavoury human trait of ours? I think it’s pretty obvious that I deserve some validation on this one? That’s just me having a joke, by the way. People don’t always get it when I make a joke so I always feel that I have to spell it out. I don’t want be taken up wrong, which is of course just another way of wanting to be right. We human beings are such ludicrous creatures – what could be more ludicrous than always wanting to be right and not caring what we are right about? ‘Please just let me find something to be right about’, I say. Please let there be something – please let there be anything, in fact.
Political correctness, in my view, is the most extreme – and most absurd – example of this ludicrous tendency of ours. I know of course that we all say we find political correctness, in whatever form it manifests itself, to be wholly repellent, wholly repugnant. I know we all claim to find it immensely irritating, immensely exasperating and so on and so forth. I claim to be irritated and exasperated myself – I’m doing no less right now! But the thing is, if we are always so deeply scornful about political correctness, as we say we are, then there couldn’t possibly be as many PC people going around as there are. And there can be no doubt that there are very many PC people out there! There’s no end to them, the place is positively crawling with them. So there’s an enigma for you! There’s an enigma to be puzzling over! Just how the hell does this work, we might quite reasonably enquire? What’s the bleeding story here?
It is of course quite clear where this ‘need to be right’ comes from. It speaks for itself, really. You bet it speaks for itself! It speaks volumes. It’s like we are writhing maggots. We’re writhing in agony, we’re writhing in the agony of not being validated, and yet needing so badly to be validated. There is no pain like this, when it comes down to it. There’s no pain like it – it’s pure existential horror. We’re such vile maggots are we? It’s just one giant maggot farm, this society of ours. Everyone fighting to be right, everyone trying to as best as they can to pull one over on their neighbour. That’s why were all so damn competitive, at the end of the day. That’s why we are always trying to do the dirty on the other guy. That’s why we are always trying to shit on him before he can shit on us. That’s why our smiles are all so fake – because behind the smile we’re thinking, ‘How can I shit on you before you shit on me?’ What a joke!
And then there are those who aren’t in a position to shit on anyone. Boy do people despise you then! Boy do they look down on you. You are lower than dogshit then, in their eyes. ‘That guy is not able to shit on anyone, what a loser!’ we say. And if we see someone who can shit on anyone they like, with impunity, then how we admire them! We think they’re so great. We wish we could be like them of course. We want to be in their shoes. That’s what lies behind it. That’s what lies behind everything we do. Well that’s capitalism for you, huh? That’s what it’s all about. Shit or be shat on, huh? Pretty fucking inspirational, wouldn’t you say?