Corrupted Dreamscape

Every now and then the universe shifts and changes and entire timelines disappear without a trace. New, fully-formed timelines appear – incongruous in one way and yet somehow curiously familiar for all that. Curiously familiar like an old friend you’ve never met before. You meet him with mixed emotions, unsure whether to be happy or afraid; you don’t know whether to celebrate or ignore him and pretend it never happened.

 

The Hero Power was too strong for me – I never should have put myself out there in the way that I did. I never should have. The world is all disjointed now, it comes in shuddering disjointed bursts. It stops and then it starts again and each time it starts it goes in a different direction. I crouch down on the ground waiting for things to stabilize. I feel safer on the ground amidst all the detritus of everyday life. Empty crisp packets, Twix bar wrappers, polystyrene fast-food cartons, crushed Coke cans, crumpled plastic water bottles, cigarette butts – the detritus of a whole world. Or perhaps the world was the detritus. Perhaps I was part of that detritus.

 

I’m sitting here now, but what does that mean? Perhaps in another moment it will never have happened. You can’t trust anything these days. The dream activity is very light at the moment – you hardly notice it at all. Light to moderate dreaming activity. A light dusting of dreams. Even if you did notice you wouldn’t be able to make out what it was, or what it wasn’t. Did it happen or didn’t it? Did what happen? New possibilities flicker into existence and then go back on themselves almost instantaneously. It’s the quantum froth – it’s a game reality plays itself. It’s at times like this that I realise how very thin reality can become and the not really sure if I want to know what it is that lies behind it. The whole thing has the feeling of a poorly executed hoax – a hoax that you’re supposed to see…

 

And then I realise that it’s not reality that wearing very thin but me – I have worn so very thin that there’s almost nothing left. I’ve never been thinner. I’m like a collection of tattered rags blowing in the wind. Did you ever have that experience where you are eating your meal in a fast food restaurant and you suddenly look up and catch the eyes of the people sitting at the table opposite you and you realise beyond a shadow of a doubt that they know something about you that you don’t. Everyone knows something about you that you don’t! They’re all waiting for you to cotton on, they’re all waiting for you to connect the dots and see the obvious. It’s obvious but somehow you have never seen it – not until this point. Not until now.

 

I imagine this is an archetypal experience, I imagine everyone has had moments like this. We all know what it means but we won’t talk about it. There’s a kind of rule that says we mustn’t – it’s a rule that isn’t supposed to be there but it is. I know what it means, even though I don’t want to admit that to myself. It means that the universe has moved on but I haven’t…

 

 

 

 

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