Tales Of The Exegesic Universe

They were telling me about the Robot Self but I hadn’t understood what they were saying. I was too tired to understand, I could no longer take anything in. I’d never been so tired in all my life. Lots of things were happening in my mind at the same time and I didn’t know where I was in all of this. I didn’t know how it related to me. They were telling me about the Exegesic universe but I didn’t understand what they were saying. I was too exhausted to pay attention. Maybe I didn’t really want to know.


‘Welcome to the Exegesic Universe,’ the welcoming hologram told me, ‘we’re sure you’re going to be very happy here. All your dreams can come true in the Exegesic Universe; all of your fantasies – no matter how bizarre or perverse – can be realised! You have chosen well, my friend – only here in the Exegesic Universe will you be able to have this uniquely fulfilling experience…’ The message looped after this – that was all evidently all I was to learn on this subject. The hologram would not respond to any of my questions.


I was living in a great world, a wonderful world – the only thing about it being that it wasn’t real. Such a wonderful world, such a great world, but at the same time maybe not so wonderful, maybe not so great. It’s my own world I say; I made it myself and it’s exactly the way I like it, exactly the way I want it. Only not really. Not entirely. Maybe not at all…


There is a man talking – he’s gesticulating vigorously and going on and on about something but I can’t understand what he’s saying. There’s a group of people sitting at the table on my right eating their food, talking away amongst themselves, when all of a sudden they all turn to look at me and I know that I’m drawing attention to myself in some way that I can’t understand. I’m doing something wrong. They stare and stare, forgetting to eat their generic meals, and I suddenly realise that I’m hallucinating! I realize that nothing I see or believe in is real.


I’d achieved legendary status in my dream. Elephants shat themselves in fear when they saw me coming, as it says in that great Indian epic. To say that I was a stupendously mighty hero would be a grave misrepresentation – I was a god. No other world will suffice. Then I fell asleep in my dream and I dreamt another dream whilst still in the first dream and in this dream I was mightier still – I could smash the stars out of the sky with my fist! Then I awoke from both dreams in rapid succession and abruptly discovered that I was not a hero at all. I was a wretched excuse for a man, a sad disappointment both to myself and everybody else. My life was painful to me and I didn’t want to know about it. If anyone ever tells you that the truth isn’t the thing that hurts the most then you know that they’re lying.  They’re lying both to you and to themselves. Nothing hurts like the truth. Nothing can hurt as much as the truth…




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