My Head Was Full Of Machine Talk

It’s a great thing to be free from the old personality robot, I said, after a while. I’d been sitting there contemplating life for the last half hour or so. Such a great thing to get away from the rotten old personality mechanism, I said to myself. It was a matter of wonderment to me. You’re the gimp no more. No more the gimp. You can kick sand in the face of your detractors. You can laugh at your own thoughts as they scurry around the labyrinth of your machine mind. The personality robot is so rotten I said, suddenly overcome by the purest loathing for it. I knew it for what it was. I had its number. It might look friendly enough, I told my imaginary audience. It might look harmless enough, but don’t let that fool you. Lions and tigers are nothing compared to the old personality robot. The worst they can do is eat you. Or maim you perhaps. Or eat bits of you. Choice bits.  Here comes the old personality robot walking down the street. Look at him lumbering along – he’s as stupid as the day is long. He’s as blank as they come, he’s blankness personified, but he’ll tell you otherwise. He’ll fill your head with the most outrageous bullshit you’ve ever heard in your life and never blink an eye. He’ll tell you black is white. That’s what the old personality robot is like. You can see him walking down the corridor towards you – he’s moving fast, like a shadow in a dream, and the next thing is that he is you, and you are him, and there’s only the one of you! And now you are in a different world, you’re in the twilight realm where everyone’s out to get you, where hidden eyes are always watching. The only way to protect yourself in the twilight realm is to be more vicious than anyone else and if you can’t be more vicious than anyone else then you have to be good at hiding or good at running. Or perhaps good at pretending to be something else, something that isn’t you. My head was full of machine talk – chattering, chattering, chattering. This is normal I told myself – this is what it means to be a human being. You can talk to the machines and the machines can talk to you. Because you both speak the same language. I can hear the church bell ringing – it’s 6 o’clock. The sound of the bell brings me out of my dream. My long, long dream. How long was it? If you want to follow your dreams then you have to make sure that you stay asleep. Someone told me that. I read it in a book. I learned it in an online seminar. A little bird told me. The dreams are coming thick and fast now. They are like great waves – each one crashes into me with irresistible force. I can feel my legs going from under me. Each wave hits me harder than the last. Someone told me that if you someone told me that you can laugh at your own thoughts as they scurry scurry around the labyrinth of your machine mind.






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