The Seven Habits Of Genuinely Fake People

I know he is a pure ejit I apologised lamely to the security guard but he’s okay he is with me I tried to give him a reassuring wink but I couldn’t I couldn’t pull it off my eyeballs were burning in my sockets the pain was unbearable I’ve been up all night scouring the Internet  checking all my social media feeds obsessively haunted by the fear that I might have missed something the seven habits the seven habits of genuinely fake people how to know when you’re dating a psychopath I scrolled down frantically I’ve been at it all night research shows that scientists have proven that research shows the eyes popping out of my head I had felt as if it was swimming in viruses I knew that I was seriously unwell but I couldn’t stop it’s okay I told the security guard they’re pure fools I know but they’re alright really I caught some kind of bug the other day I knew I shouldn’t have gone out without a coat on and now it was threatening to floor me my eyes ached and my brain felt as if it was awash with viruses multiplying away for all their worth my head was solid with them solid viroid space no room for thinking no room for independent intelligent thought welcome my friend welcome to the Viroid World you’re going to love it there I was just pure blocked your wrecking my melon I moaned full of self-pity and spat on my laptop screen I scrolled down frantically afraid that I might have missed something the seven habits of highly effective psychopaths I read how to know if you’re sleeping with a narcissist my mind was blocked with the virus I could feel them burgeoning within me like a tidal wave of pure evil you’re wrecking my melon I screamed powerless to do anything about it I had to stop as I walked down the street I was gagging silently I was doubled up by a bout of dry retching I knew that the badness was within me I turned a corner and found myself face-to-face with the biggest seagull that I had ever seen pecking away at a black rubbish bag in the street and as it looked me in the eye I knew that it despised me for what I let myself become the other lads are fooling around some of them are pretending to swim about on the carpet in the hotel foyer whilst others were licking chair legs one guy laughing inappropriately as he pissed absentmindedly up against the wall it’s okay I said to the security guard they’re with me

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.