‘What is the essential nature of life?’ I ask myself one day. ‘What is it essentially composed of, when you get right down to it, when you get right down to the nitty-gritty? What kind of stuff or material is it made up of?’ These were the type of questions that I was concerning myself with.
I was doing my best to sit down on the bench that overlooked the central square where all the cafes were but I didn’t seem to be doing very well. I couldn’t pull it off because I had no body – my body had dissolved. I had become a pattern in the air, a pattern of free-flowing energy. I was in flow-motion. I kept moving off in all directions – flowing and rippling outwards…
Well, I say that ‘I kept rippling outwards in all directions’ but this isn’t strictly true – it is the universal energy that is flowing outwards. It is the universal energy that is flowing and rippling outwards so gracefully, not me. It is the universal energy that is moving outwards in all directions and the universal energy has nothing to do with me – it is moving and flowing according its own mysterious laws, laws which I know nothing of. It is going about its own business, which no one can know about.
Bits and fragments of me are drifting off in all directions, caught up in the slow and steady current of the great unseen river. ‘Where does the river come from and where does it go?’ I ask myself. This is a question to bewilder and confound. It is a question that has no answer. I am coming apart faster and faster now as the current catches hold. The cracks in the pavement are widening and strange flowers are blooming there.
The world is no longer what it used to be. The world isn’t what it’s cracked up to be. You’re not what you’re cracked up to be. You have to be careful where you put your feet because the firmament is breaking up under you – the sky is reflected in the puddles at your feet and you know longer know which way is up.
I am trying to make my way down the road but the road is no longer there. I’m no longer there either – I am a pattern of energy gracefully unfolding in space. I’m like a ripple in a pond moving ever outwards. The sunlight is catching on the wavelets and the surface of the pond sparkles like a mirage. A great calm has descended on the scene and I can hear insects making their music in the thick tropical undergrowth. The air is heavy and full of the scents of flowers and rotting vegetation.
‘What is the essential nature of life?’ I ask myself. ‘What is the basic substance from which it is composed?’ But I wasn’t really interested in hanging around to hear the answer. My questions, more habit than anything else, undulated gently outwards, the little wavelets catching the sun and glinting pleasingly as they did so.