I was shouting out with brash excitement, a bottle of Bud in one hand and my new iPhone 8 in the other. Everything was going my way. I was yelling with brash excitement, joining in the Craic, partying late into the night, hanging out with my good buddies. I surreptitiously ran a quick check on myself, just to make sure I was having a great time, just to make sure I was having the Craic, and I was. I took a few selfies and uploaded them onto my preferred social media site. Everything was great, everything was cool, everything was going my way.

I was roaring like a fool, watching myself from a great distance, watching myself down the wrong end of a telescope. I was roaring like a fool, roaring like a fool, roaring like a fool. I didn’t even know what I was roaring about. I was roaring like a complete jackass, not even knowing what I was doing any more. I didn’t have a clue. I was roaring myself hoarse. And yet it all seemed to be happening at a great remove – I was upset but at the same time I didn’t really care that much. It didn’t have anything to do with me. My throat was sore from roaring so much but somehow that didn’t matter either. I was like a stranger looking in.

The whole thing was a big fool-trap, I realized. A trap for fools, and I was one of them. I wasn’t just one of them, I was the biggest one – the King of the Fools. Lesser fools bow down to me. Lesser fools don’t get a look in. The fools couldn’t wait to hurl themselves into the trap – their legs were going up and down, up and down, up and down. Their legs moving like high-speed pistons. Bursting themselves. Running so fast it is almost comical. In such a great hurry to make sure that they get there in time in case the fool-trap door is slammed shut in their face. In case they miss out. Bellowing with brash excitement, taking selfies of themselves as they run and uploading them onto their favourite social media site.

I am shouting with brash excitement, surreptitiously checking up on myself from time to time to make sure that I am living a great life, to make sure that everything is cool. A bottle of ice-cold Bud in one hand and an e-cigarette in the other bellowing like a complete fool. Roaring and yelling to prove to myself that I am having a great time, that I am having the Craic. Roaring my fool head off. Only my buddies have gone now and the party is over. I quickly check up on myself to see if I am having a great time and I’m not. I’m looking at myself down the wrong end of a telescope. I’m looking at myself from a long, long way away and everything has gone very dark…

Checking up on myself to make sure everything was going my way. Going my way, going my way, going my way. Checking up, checking up, checking up. Shouting out at the top of my voice with brash excitement. Shouting, shouting, shouting. Roaring like a fool. Roaring, roaring, roaring. Running as fast as my legs will take me. Running, running, running. Arms swinging, legs working like pistons. Trying to secure my position in the fool-trap in case the door slams shut on me before I can get there.