We have been indoctrinated into the Fear World and so now we have nowhere else to turn. All other doors have been shut – we have nowhere else to go. We have nowhere to turn, nowhere to go, no legitimate actions open to us because the Fear World isn’t really a place – it’s a non-place disguised as a place, a brick wall disguised as an open road. It’s a hiding place from reality and that’s all it is. It doesn’t lead on to other, more healthy things…
There’s nowhere left to go when we’ve been indoctrinated into the Fear World – there’s nowhere to go and nothing to do other than doing our best to appease ourselves by whatever means comes to hand, by whatever means we have been given. I suppose you could say that self-appeasement is the name of the game in Fear World – if you wanted to put it like that. And there’s no reason why you shouldn’t. Self-appeasement is such a terrible thing – I don’t think we have the imagination to see that. We’d be a lot more depressed than we are if we did! It’s pretty obvious that we don’t have the imagination to see what a nightmare self-appeasement is because we wouldn’t be doing it otherwise. It wouldn’t be the Number One Thing That We Do if we could see it for what it is…
The point is that when we’ve been indoctrinated into the Fear World then that’s it for us. That’s the end of the matter. That’s the end of everything for us – we’ve been closed down. Everything we do in the Fear world is because of fear, obviously enough. Everything that happens is just us obeying fear, and then immediately validating what we have done. As a kind of a necessary reflex. Do it then validate it. All the same action. We validate ourselves obeying the fear to ourselves by saying that it’s what we wanted to do; we collectively validate it by saying that it’s the right thing to do, the morally responsible thing to do. So fear as a motivation never comes into it. We never admit to it. The Fear World isn’t an honest world, you see – ‘honesty’ and ‘obeying fear’ never go together! They wouldn’t do, would they?
Who we truly are never gets expressed in the Fear World, not ever. The true self is banished; it’s shut down and so there’s nothing left to us but self-appeasement. That’s the only option left open to us – we can’t do the thing we really want to do, we can’t honestly express who we really are, so all that’s left for us are various squalid acts of sordid self-appeasement. That’ll have to do us because it’s all we’ve got. Self-appeasement never really satisfies, of course. The best we can hope for is a very brief moment of distraction, a very brief moment of forgetting but this is almost immediately followed by the knowledge, conscious or otherwise, of the terrible act of self-betrayal that we are guilty of and this is an awareness that we can never entirely banish.
Every act is an act of self-betrayal in the Fear World. Some are big acts, most small. Lots and lots of little acts of self-betrayal – all of them cumulative. They build up with time, they’re always building up even though we don’t know it. This is the invisible price we pay for living in the Fear World, the price no one in their right mind would ever pay. If they knew. We’re feeding a false part of ourselves, a false version of ourselves – we’re giving it treats, we’re pandering to its whims. Whatever it wants it gets. That’s the name of the game, isn’t it? That’s what our world is all about, this Fear World of ours that we will never call by its proper name. We’ll call it something else instead – something great, something stirring, something we can feel proud of, something we can feel patriotic about, something we can pledge allegiance to and be loyal to.
And all the while there’s all this validation going on, all this ceaseless scurrilous validation. It’s an industry, it’s what keeps the whole show (this whole society of ours) going – first the sleazy act of self-appeasement and then the scurrilous validation for this act, which we don’t entirely believe in, even though we try as hard as we possibly can to. That ‘partial belief in what we’re dishonestly telling ourselves we believe’ will have to do however – it’s the best we’ll get. We can’t be true to ourselves in this Fear World of ours, so self-appeasement – no matter how unsatisfactory – is the only option open to us….