Human beings can transform in so many ways, can’t they? Don’t deny it – you know that it’s true! We can become anything; we can become all sorts of things. You name it, we can become it. We can become things with absolutely zero sense of humour and what a tremendous transformation this is! It’s not a good one – I’ll grant you that – but all the same, you’ve got to admire our versatility.

So many ways, so many ways. Humans can transform in so many ways. Don’t deny it now – you know that it’s true.

No one wants to know that, though. No one wants to know. No one wants to think about it. There are certain things that are too horrific to contemplate, as I know you’ll agree. As I know you’ll secretly agree, that is. It’s understood that no one is going to come right out and say that. You’ll never admit that you know what I’m talking about but we’ll tacitly take it that you do. Because you know that you do. And I know that you know. I know that you know that there are some things that are just too terrible to even come close to contemplating. That’s just the way it is – it’s not right or wrong. There are no judgements here…

So many ways, so many ways. So many ways to transform but most of them bad. Most of them too bad to think about. You might become a machine, for example. ‘What type of a machine?’ you ask. ‘Why – a machine whose job it is to pretend to be you!’ I reply with a laugh. ‘I wasn’t talking about becoming a vacuum cleaner or a kettle or a toaster you know…’ You might become a pretending machine – a machine that pretends to be a human being. Such machine don’t pretend very well it’s true, but who cares? Who’s watching anyway? It’s not as if there is going to be anyone checking up!

No one’s going to be checking up on the pretending machines because that’s just not in anyone’s interest. It’s not in the machine’s interest and it’s not in ours either because we don’t want to know. Would you want to know that you were a machine pretending to be you? The world is full of machines pretending to be human beings and there really isn’t any incentive for them to go dobbing themselves in. That wouldn’t make any sense. If you’re a machine pretending to be you and you’re talking to another machine pretending to be someone else then it’s not in anyone’s interest to go checking up too carefully on who’s human and who isn’t. That kind of an investigation just isn’t going to happen…

We don’t go checking up on ourselves, either. When was the last time you checking up on yourself to see if you were a machine? Things like that we don’t want to know. Once the pretending starts then there’s no stopping it. That’s the problem, you see. The flood gates have been opened…

Did you ever try to close the flood gates once they had been opened? You take my meaning here I’m sure. It’s just not going to happen. It’s like squeezing toothpaste back into the tube, only worse. Much, much worse. Infinitely worse. You see once these machine start pretending then they don’t know when to stop. They don’t know when to stop because – logically speaking – there is no place to stop. There’s no place to stop and there’s no reason to stop either! Why would you?

So first you pretend to be person and that’s fine but then the logic sneaks up on you and says ‘Why stop here?’ The logic says ‘Why not take it one stage further and pretend to be a machine pretending to be a person?‘ So you do that – you pretend to be a machine pretending to be a person and then before you know it the flood gates have opened and it’s all downhill from there.  You end up in that pit which is ruled over by the Lords of Entropy and quite frankly that’s not a nice pit to end up in…

I don’t want blame anyone for not wanting to open the lid on this particular nest of monsters! You just wouldn’t want to know. I mean, that’s frightening shit. I like to think that I’ve got a pretty strong stomach but I certainly wouldn’t want to lift the lid on that and see what’s underneath. No sir I wouldn’t…