Something Snapped Inside Me

Toxic hell beings were afflicting me. Get away from me you filthy dirty toxic hell beings I yelled, full of indignation, but do you think they took any notice of me? Did they hell! That’s not really their style. You dirty toxic bastards I screamed get away from me if you know what’s good for you. I was getting pretty toxic myself at this stage, more than a match for the hell beings who were afflicting me so sorely I fancied. They were going to get more than they had bargained for. They’d be sorry they ever decided to tangle with me I told myself. They’d be very sorry. Something snapped inside me then and before I knew it I was roaring and screaming and thrashing around like a wild animal not even making the slightest bit of sense. I was making a holy show of myself. I was actually frightening myself. I wasn’t just enraged, I was psychotically enraged. I was incandescent with rage like a light bulb. It was as if a flash-gun had gone off inside me flooding the room with horribly intense white light, the type of light that would give you a splitting head ache instantaneously. I was no longer human, I was no longer a person. I was a caricature of myself – I was a freak, a freakazoid. If anyone had seen me then they would have known me as freak straightaway. They would have known me as a freakishly freaky freaked-out freak that had escaped from a dimension of pure laughable absurdity. The psychotic rage attack had distorted me out of all recognition – it had turned me into something no one could ever take seriously. I was zipping madly around the room like a crudely sketched character in a stupid cartoon show with slow-motion speech bubbles coming out of my head; my absurd crudely-drawn cartoon body was coloured in with a colour no one had ever seen before, a colour that existed only for this one occasion. It was a colour that existed only in the cartoon freakazoid universe that had been created by my psychotic rage. I was screaming all sorts of insane gibberish and running from one side of the room to the other so fast that all you could see was a streak of fluorescent squiggles and even though I was screaming at the top of my voice the actual words were emerging out of my mouth in immense slow-motion and tumbling one after another onto the floor. It was as if I was living in two worlds at the same time – one world where time was accelerated beyond all recognition and I was bouncing around the place like a crazy-ball of multicoloured squiggles and the other world where everything had been slowed down so very much that you couldn’t actually tell what was happening. And I couldn’t see how the two joined up even though they obviously had to in some way. I was trying to figure it out. I was trying to find some space there in-between the very fast world and the very slow one so that I could make sense of myself in it, but there was none there. Everything was either much too fast to make sense of or much too slow. And yet at the same time it was nevertheless all happening, whether I liked it or not. That’s when I realized that I had lost my human form and become a toxic hell being too…










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