The Rat King

Rats are curious creatures aren’t they? Particularly of late now that there are so many mutagens and teratogens in the atmosphere. I was going to say ‘now that there are so many entheogens in the atmosphere’ but that’s something different isn’t it. They are no entheogens in the atmosphere, or at least not as far as I know. I actually prefer rats to dogs, to be honest – or at least to the small, yappy type of dog. Although it’s true that with some of the more recent variants of rat that we’ve started to see on the streets like the type which has its brain on the outside of its skull like a cauliflower do look rather freaky. They are very intelligent however and it’s not all about looks, is it?


Although I know that a lot of people do think that it’s all about looks. That’s because we’ve been prevailed upon by the media of course. The media with their tireless agenda to make us all morons. And all the corporations that want to make us permanently insecure so that they can sell us their filthy products and make themselves pathologically rich at our expense. I don’t blame them though – it never ceases to amaze me that we make it so ridiculously easy for them. How did we ever buy into the idea that it doesn’t matter how dumb or obnoxious we are just so long as we’re good-looking? Or rich of course because if we’re rich then we don’t have to be good-looking because money – as they say – is the ultimate aphrodisiac. There’s no turn-on like it. It’s auto-erotic too – its a sexual relationship with oneself. It’s narcissism taken to the ultimate extreme. Like William Gibson says, the rich enter into a seamless universe of self…


The world is ruled by dumb and obnoxious people. Or rather it’s ruled by smart and obnoxious people, which is worse. Although how smart are they really, all of these supposedly super-smart sociopath types with their fantastic ability to manipulate us all? What’s the bloody point of it all, anyway? The whole thing’s a travesty. It doesn’t really wash, does it? Personally I don’t buy it that the slick smooth-talking sociopaths who run society are smart – I think they’re infected with some type of parasite that makes them behave that way. They’ve got a disease. It will be discovered one day. All those lies and all that manipulation have got to be pathological in origin. It’s morbid behaviour obviously – they’re being controlled by their parasites.


I’ve given up on humanity, to be honest. I think the future belongs to the rats. Particularly the ones with the external brains that look like cauliflowers growing on top of their skulls. They’ve learned how to use tools and everything. I’ve seen some of them pushing little wheel-barrows around, wheel-barrows which they use to carry the most extreme outgrowths of their highly-developed brains. I really do think that the rats will supersede us. They seem to know what they’re doing and we don’t. Human beings don’t know what they’re doing at all – they’ve lost their way….


I had a dream the other night – I’m pretty sure it was a lucid one – in which I received a message to this effect. In my dream I was lying in bed and I was awake – I was awake in the dream. I just couldn’t move. I couldn’t even blink. After a while I became aware of strange tapping and scratching noises emanating from beneath the floor-boards of my bedroom. A lot of activity seemed to be going on. Then I left my bed and was floating in the air. I discovered that I could move at will in any direction that I chose and so I found a way of mentally moving my consciousness down below the floor of my bedroom. To my surprise there was a vast underground hall there – a subterranean Hall of Darkness. It was the Worm Hall of Nordic mythology. As I grew accustomed to the astral fog that lay over everything I found that I could make out the looming form of a tremendous throne in front of me. It was made of wrought iron which was studded with black jewels of various intriguing shapes.


Then my vision improved again and as the astral murk melted away around me I could see the immense imposing shape of the Rat King sitting on the throne in all his glory. His little red eyes glared at me and his cruel voice boomed out through the chamber. “The human race is run,” he told me, “you had your chance and you screwed it up. You’re no good for anything but shopping, anyway. Whoever heard of a dominant species on a planet that spends its whole time shopping? For God’s sake. You’ve missed the boat, monkey boys. You’ve missed your chance and now you have to make way for true intelligence, intelligence that isn’t obsessed with skin-care products, shoes, and kitchen fittings. You’ve messed up royally and now we’re going to show you how it should be done.”


The giant rat figure gestured with one of its long grey fingers to indicate that my audience with him was over. I was to return to my own world. I made my way up through the floorboards and back into the dismal squalor of my bed-room. I sat on the bed, back in my body now, glumly contemplating the obscene folly of the human race. I had to admit that the Rat King had a made a few good points there. Perhaps the rats would do a better job. Musing over it, I couldn’t help thinking that they deserved their chance. They certainly couldn’t do any worse than us…




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