“Don’t be sniffing that stuff now or it’ll put you whistling,” warned my friend Tom with a wink as he clapped me on the shoulder and walked out of the door. Only he wasn’t my friend because I’d never met him before. I didn’t know him from Adam. The warning rang in my head, don’t go sniffing that stuff or it’ll put you whistling, it’ll put you whistling, it’ll put you whistling. His voice was ringing in my head. That stuff will set you spinning will set you spinning will set you spinning his voice ringing in my head. Ringing and ringing. That stuff will set you he said. I don’t know what he said. I’d never seen him before. I was trying to work out what he was telling me but the words were spinning in my head. They wouldn’t stay still. I was annoyed at him for some reason but I couldn’t remember why. And then all of a sudden Tom is walking back into the room again as large as life and twice as famous, “Don’t be sniffing that stuff or it’ll set you spinning” he told me, flashing his famous smile as he did so. “Don’t be spinning that stuff” he warned me with a twinkle in his eye and his world-famous smile. I didn’t understand a word of what he was saying but his smile was stuck in my head. I couldn’t get it out. I couldn’t seem to move on from that moment – it kept on replaying over and over again in a loop. Tom kept on walking into the room with that world-famous smile of his. “Don’t be spinning that stuff now” he said with that famous wink of his. Walking in the door, walking in the door. And yet even as I tried to figure out what he was saying I knew this moment had never actually happened. It never happened, it never happened, it never happened rang in my head. I was in a trance. Make sure that you close the door now before you come in I told him sourly something about his air of easy familiarity was grating on my nerves don’t be sniffing that stuff now he warned me it’ll put you whistling only he wasn’t smiling now all of a sudden he was right in my face and everything was very very serious and his eyes were boring into mine like steel drill bits I was choking I felt that I couldn’t breathe his angry voice was ringing in my head like someone lashing an empty steel can with an iron pipe and then all of a sudden his face breaks into a delighted grin that famous high-intensity smile of his giving me his trade-mark slow wink clapping me heartily on the shoulder and all of a sudden I know that I’m famous too just like him I’m like his twin with that world-famous smile it’s like looking into a mirror my smile exactly matching his. “Don’t be sniffing that stuff now’ he warns me with a wink….