Is there anything viler than the obnoxious posturing of the conditioned ego, I found myself wondering the other day? Is there anything more stomach-turningly grotesque? It was eleven fifteen in the morning and I was sitting on my own (as usual) having a coffee and a fruit scone in the hospital canteen whilst absent-mindedly watching the adverts on the big TV screen mounted on the wall opposite me. The way you do. Or the way I do anyway. There was some vile gimmicky advert showing, trying as they all do to ‘be something’. Trying to be something that the unwary viewer (me, in this case) might be conned into thinking actually was a thing, and not just a bit of hideously inane nonsensical posturing. I find myself feeling sickened even remembering this particular ad – two young and ridiculously brash characters were acting in this offensively gimmicky fashion and it was plain that this was supposed to represent them expressing their endearingly zany individuality. Or rather expressing what some sad twisted fuck of an advertising executive thinks of as ‘individuality’ but which is in reality a hideously grotesque parody of what it means to be an actual genuine human being. And we of course are supposed to buy into this; we’re supposed to jump to the conclusion that these posturing empty-headed inane jackasses have something – some secret egoic sense of fulfilment or empowerment – that we lack but which we could have also if we were to buy whatever loathsome pestilential product it is that they are selling. How nauseating is that? This is of course our Western Capitalism at its finest, it occurred to me then. This unspeakably vile advert represents the pinnacle of our creative efforts – it’s what our civilization is all about. I could very easily have been sick at that point. I would in all probability have felt better if I had done so – I can see that now, with the benefit of hindsight. That experience brought to mind many other examples of unusually offensive adverts that I have come across in my life. There is a particular look that actors and actresses have to contrive – a type of whimsically self-indulgent, narcissistically self-absorbed, and yet at the same time petulant and wilful look which serves to convey what unfettered and unashamed individuality is supposed to look like. This – I can see now – is the conditioned ego in its most essential form. It is the frighteningly vacant look of ‘ultimate egoic fulfilment’ and it is this that the advertisers are clearly trying to sell us. This is what we are supposed to want; this is what we are supposed to value, to covet above all else. It’s not just the advertisers, I appreciate that – this monstrous horror of an abomination is what society itself is trying to get us to identify with. We’re being methodically engineered to fit this mould, because that’s what suits our modern world.  Because that’s what our oh-so-marvellous society is all about… Anyway, that’s my insight, for what it’s worth…