The Cave Of Dreams

It’s been a long time since I had last seen the Glory. A very long time, I realized. I had forgotten about the Glory. What had I been doing with my life? What had I been doing and why? I could ask those questions now; I couldn’t before. I knew now that I had been doing nothing. Doing nothing but thinking that I was doing something. Sleeping, dreaming. Dreaming my life away. Bothered by nonsense. Anxious about nonsense. Concerned with nonsense. Preoccupied with nonsense. Obsessed with nonsense. Living in a world of nonsense…

 

Nonsense that had now evaporated without leaving a trace behind! There was only the Glory. All around me was the Glory and the Glory was everything. I was driving down the road late at night and all around me the sky was alight. The sky was alive. It was alive in some vast way that I could not even begin to comprehend!

 

There is a jolt in my consciousness and I find myself walking down the street. The light is coming at me from all directions. It’s coming from people’s faces. It’s coming from the trees, from the clouds. It’s coming from places that I haven’t seen before. It’s shining from around corners that I didn’t even know existed. It’s shining out of the cracks that exist between things, cracks that I have never noticed before. Now I can see that the world is full of these hairline cracks of light and as I watch I can see them all joining up faster and faster. They’re joining up all around me. They’re spreading everywhere, jumping from place to place faster than the eye can follow. Gentle pulsing light is shining out from the cracks. It is flooding out.

 

The world is like a giant egg that is about to break, about to hatch. The light is pouring out of the cracks brighter than ever. The cracks are all joining up, holding hands. The world-egg is about to break with all the light that’s in it. It’s about to give birth to the light. Nothing can stop that light! The light is all there was, is or ever will be…

 

Then something shifts again. There is a jolt. My consciousness has been dislocated and although I know I have lost track of something I don’t know what it was. The moment of transition has been erased, edited out, replaced with something else. I find myself sitting on a grimy sofa in the living room of my flat with a dull ache at the back of my head.  My eyeballs feel somehow dirty in their sockets. It’s as if there is grit in them – it hurts when I swivel them. I feel as if I am peering out painfully at the world from the back of a cave. The cave that is my mind. The cave of dreams.

 

I am back in my plastic cubicle and I can’t see out of it – the plastic cubicle is now my world and I no longer know anything about the Glory. I no longer know anything about the light. I am preoccupied. I am reading rows of figures from a screen, trying to understand what they are telling me. The figures are scrolling rapidly down the screen. They are telling me something important about reality but I don’t know what it is. I can’t decode it. I feel the old familiar anxiety returning…

 

 

 

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