My Life

So it was like I was going to go up against the beach-master and totally take him down because he had this whole big beach full of these super-hot elephant seal babes like you wouldn’t believe and he had them all for himself the greedy fat bastard. I wanted some of that action I didn’t see why he should have it all for himself. So I was going to go head to head with him I was going to go toe to toe I was going to totally challenge him and take him down and he was two and a half tons of blubber-covered muscle rearing up at me and lunging and lunging and ripping my flesh and ripping my flesh and ripping my flesh and ripping my flesh and ripping my flesh over and over again with his great yellow teeth slamming into me like a sledgehammer I could feel all two and a half tons of his body behind every shuddering blow. He was making every blow count and the blood was gushing out of me from two dozen massive lacerations all over me and I hadn’t even landed one decent blow on him yet he struck again harder than ever my eyes were all blurry with blood I was being quite literally slaughtered I hadn’t realized that I was such a weak-ass loser my whole body was shaking with exhaustion and fear and I couldn’t see straight and the whole time he was lunging at me and lunging at me and lunging at me tearing great gaping gashes in my flesh. I didn’t even have the strength left at this stage to turn tail and run off and swim away to safety his nasty piggish eyes gleaming with pure malignant viciousness and my body was literally being torn to bloody shreds then the alarm went again and I wake up blearily I have to shave and get a cup of coffee into me and get to work by nine o’clock and I’m late another day another lousy dollar oh Christ I thought involuntarily as I do every morning I hate my bloody life

 

 

 

 

 

 

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