People Say That I Have an Anger Problem

resentful

People say that I’ve got an anger problem and that I’m a toxic person. Do you know what I say to these people? I have plenty to say, believe me. They also say that I’m a bore, that I keep on coming out with the same old stories, the same old gripes. I feel that this is very unfair. I feel that I’m in a very dark place, a very dark place indeed. A lot has changed for me in the last few years – I used to be a pretty nice person. Plenty of friends, all that sort of thing…  And now here I am spending all my time checking up on myself to see if I am real. I’m trying to reference myself to the official narrative, trying to make my opinions relevant to the dominant discourse – whatever that is. Nothing I say is relevant to the dominant discourse. People look at me blankly; people stare right through me as if I wasn’t there. They’re more interested in what they might be reading on the back of a cornflakes packet than listening to what I have to say. As soon as I open my mouth people generally develop an over-riding interest in listening to what someone else has to say. Whatever that might be. They’re more interested in what anyone else has to say. Generally some cocky little gobshyte who comes out of the woodwork to shoot his mouth off. Oh look – there’s some brain-dead gobshyte shooting his dumb mouth off let’s all go and listen. Well that’s interesting isn’t it? Fancy that. Well I never. And they say that it’s my fault! They say that I’ve got an anger problem, that I’m a toxic person. Well you know what I say to them? I’ll tell you what I say to them. I used to be a pretty nice guy once. I had lots of friends and all of that. All that kind of stuff. All that’s changed now and I find myself in a very dark place. These days I am forever checking up on myself, trying to see if I’m real. I’m forever trying to reference myself to the narrative of the day, trying to insert myself into the picture somehow. But it just isn’t working. It doesn’t matter how many times I try to reinvent myself, try to make myself relevant, try to make myself current, no one is ever even remotely interested in listening to what I have to say…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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