Doctor of Demonology


My mind’s been scrubbed clean and I can’t remember a thing. Only that isn’t true – I can remember plenty! I can remember it all… You can’t fool me. There’s no such thing as normal here. No such thing, no such thing, no such thing. How could there be such a thing as ‘normal’? There’s no normal – that’s a dirty con, that’s a filthy lie that they make us swallow. “Oh yeah,” we think, “There’s such a thing as normal. For sure there is. There’s a thing called normal alright no doubt about that.” But that’s only because we’ve been gotten at. They’ve fixed it; they’ve fixed us. We’ve all been got at, we’ve all being fixed. We’ve been neutered like the cat and now there’s nothing else for us to do but sit around and get fat. But there’s no normal…


You could get a shock, you could get a wake-up call and then you’d see. You’d see as plain as day – there’s no normal and there never was. You’d see that in a flash and then you’d crap yourself! For sure you’d crap yourself. Why wouldn’t you? Normal was only just a hallucination; Normal was only just a figment of your imagination. When your thinking gets real stupid and lazy and you never bother to really look at anything because you think you already know what it is, what it’s all about, then that’s when ‘normal’ comes into it. That’s how normal enters the picture. Worms its way in and takes over. Makes you into its willing slave…


Normal is when things match your lazy idea of what they are, your dumb half-baked notion of what things are supposed to be. Oh yes that’s normal alright, you say. Oh no that’s not normal at all. Dear me no. What the fuck? Where does this bullshit come from? There’s no normal. Normal is when stuff matches your dumb idea of what things are when actually that’s not what they are. There is nothing anywhere like ‘what you think things are’ – that’s just your half-baked fantasy! Caused by your ridiculous lazy thinking. Caused by an excess of pure lame-ass dumbness. Dumbness with a capital ‘D’. Dumbness for fun and profit. But if you had a big enough shock then you’d see in a flash that there’s no normal. Don’t try to argue with me – you know bloody well that I’m right! Don’t pretend that you don’t. Don’t waste my time with that shit. It’s only your stupid lazy old dumb-ass thinking that doesn’t want to agree with me. Because it doesn’t want to be woken up. You bet your ass it doesn’t. Leave me be, says your lazy thinking. Fuck off you bastard and quit bothering me…


You see the thing about normal is that once it does creep in then its sets up house. Boy does it ever set up house! It puts down roots that you aren’t ever gonna pull up. There’s no plague like the plague of normal! There’s no curse like the curse of normal! That’s a bad one alright. The very worst. You see the thing about normal is that once it’s there then we base everything on it. And when I say ‘everything’ I MEAN everything! We base everything on it because anything that isn’t normal we can’t have anything to do with. We shun it, ignore it, condemn it, ostracise it. We conform, we collude in the tyranny of normal! Normal becomes the law and you can’t go against the law. What would people say, after all?


You see the thing about normal is that once it’s there then you have to adapt to it. Anything that doesn’t adapt isn’t allowed. There’s no room for it then, no way of validating its existence. Everything has to make sense in terms of the tyranny of normal because that’s just the way we do things round here. You’re nothing and nobody unless you make sense in terms of the tyranny of normal but I’m telling you straight that when something comes along and gives you the wake-up call (the wake-up call that you didn’t know was coming!) then you’ll crap in your pants. By God you will. Don’t think that you won’t…



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