Me and My Mind

rage

My own mind was roaring and shouting at me. “You bastard, you bastard, you bastard” it was roaring. “You stupid useless bloody bastard…” My mind was angry and frustrated at me for the way my life was. For the way I had let it become. “You stupid bloody bloody bastard how could you let things come to this?” it roared. My mind was right – I was a stupid bloody bastard. I knew that. I was angry and frustrated at myself. I couldn’t believe that I had made such a mess of things. I couldn’t believe what a mess I had made of my life – but I had.

 

My mind was hopping and spitting with frustration. It was like an evil little gremlin hopping up and down. It was a pathologically distorted little homunculus. My mind was beside itself with rage and all it could do to relieve itself was to scream and shout at me. Which it did unceasingly. Boy was I catching it! Boy was I getting a lambasting from my mind! I was catching it good and proper. There was no one else there to catch it – there was only me and my mind and that was it! There was only the two of us there. There was only me and my mind: my mind was the one giving it, and I was the one catching it…

 

“Look what you’ve done you bastard!” screamed my mind. To say that it was hopping up and down with rage was an understatement! It was bursting itself. It was spewing out negative emotions in all directions. Or rather it was spewing out negative emotions in my direction. Specifically. It was directing a jet of high-pressure super-toxic negativity at me from point blank range. It wanted to make sure that I felt every last bit of its toxic rage. Only there was no ‘last’ bit – the assault went on forever. My mind’s hatred was inexhaustible – there was no end to it. It was a bottomless pit of pure undiluted malignancy.

 

 

My mind had totally flipped out, it occurred to me. It had really lost the run of itself! It had flipped out like the vicious little psychopath it was. “Hey mind,” I wanted to say, “take a chill pill, will you…” but I didn’t. I held my tongue. I didn’t want to antagonize it any further…

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.