Damaged Souls


There are damaged souls lodged inside me trying to control my reality. How do I know they are damaged? Because they are trying so hard to control my reality, because it matters so much to them that they should say what my reality is. This matters more than anything to them – that is always the way it is with damaged souls.


Damaged souls love to control reality; of course they do – what other option do they have? They don’t exactly have much choice in this, do they? Controlling reality is the ultimate expression of power – it is the quintessential expression of power. This is what power is all about. Isn’t this what we are all doing, all of the time – controlling reality? Isn’t this what we always do – trying to control how everyone else sees things? Either that or we’re trying as best we can to fit into someone else’ reality as a way of getting on better. That’s controlling too of course. We’re trying to control those people who are more powerful than we are by being the way that they want us to be…


We’re all damaged souls really, aren’t we? Isn’t that what it all comes down to? Isn’t that the obvious conclusion? We’re all struggling either to control or struggling to be controlled. We’re struggling to be controlled by doing everything that we’d told to do, believing everything we’re expected to believe. That’s what we human beings do, isn’t it? Please tell me I’m wrong. I’d love to believe otherwise. I’d love to have a rosier view of the world. It’s just that having a rosy view of people (or of the world) seems to me to be the height of foolishness. To put it mildly.


So why do damaged souls love to control reality so much, you might ask? What’s all this nonsense about, you might ask? Or you might not ask. I don’t know. I really have no way of knowing, obviously. The answer is simple however: damaged souls have to control reality so that they can carry on existing. The moment they stop controlling reality they cease to exist – it’s as simple as that. Uncontrolled reality (which is to say, the truth) is the deadliest poison to them. It’s like cyanide. It’s absolutely lethal and cannot be tolerated even for a millisecond…


We’re all damaged souls really aren’t we? I mean, we’d all like to imagine that we’re not damaged souls. I know that. That’s obvious, that goes without saying, that we don’t actually want to admit it, not even to ourselves. Especially not to ourselves. We’ll take that as a given. What else would you expect. We all have to try to lie to ourselves as best we can. We have to keep the pretence up. And that’s fair enough. I’m not saying that it’s is wrong – I totally get it. I’m not saying anything against it. But – be that as it may – we are all fooling ourselves all of the time. That’s what we’re at, isn’t it? That what everyone’s doing – we’re all trying our level best to control reality the whole time…


To try to say otherwise would be totally ridiculous. Actually, to try to say otherwise would prove the point. It would prove it beyond any doubt. Not that there is any doubt, mind you. If we were to try to say that we’re not controlling reality that would actually be us trying to control reality! We’re controlling reality by saying that we’re not controlling it. We’re lying when we say that we’re not lying. That’s a big fat lie right there! That’s a whopper. Didn’t you ever tell a whopper and then straight away tell another one by saying that you didn’t? Of course you did. We all did. The fact of the matter is that controlling reality comes instinctively to us because we’re all damaged souls. It’s an automatic reflex – it’s the Number One automatic reflex. More than that, it’s our only reflex! We don’t need any other reflexes because that one keeps us going, because that’s the one that ensures our survival. Such as it is. Such as we are, or think we are. It’s a ‘one size fits all’ kind of thing – the same solution for every problem. The same answer for everything – control.


That’s why I can’t blame the damaged souls that are lodged inside me, trying their hardest to control my reality. They’re only trying to survive, same as all of us. They’re doing the only thing they know how to do, the only thing they can do. They’re clinging desperately to the existence that they think they have but which they don’t really. Same as all of us….








Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.