Rage Bomb


I had become furiously enraged because I had been prevented by external contingencies from acting out the mechanical programme that had got randomly lodged in my brain. FURIOUSLY enraged. I was enraged beyond all measure. I was insensible with rage – I really had lost it. “How dare this happen,” I screamed impotently, “How DARE some stupid dumb THING come along and obstruct me in the all-important acting out of the mechanical mind-programme that has somehow taken up residence in my brain?” The absolute intolerable affront of it floored me; it staggered my capacity to take it in. The more I thought about it the more the WRONGNESS of it became apparent to me – my indignation was immense. It was like Mount Everest. My outrage was so immense that it threatened to choke me. I couldn’t breathe properly. I was gasping. Peculiar little mewling noises forced their way out of my mouth, noises that didn’t make any sense at all, noises that no human being should ever make. Frighteningly inhuman noises. I was so enraged that I was literally sobbing. I was so enraged that I wanted to bite myself. I was so enraged that I wanted to tear myself to pieces. I wanted to claw the very flesh off my bones. It was like there was a bomb about to go off in my head – a rage bomb. Then the bomb exploded and everything went white. There was a discontinuity – reality jumped tracks. Everything abruptly changed and I was somewhere else. I was a disembodied intellect, no longer in a body. I was now in a cold place with no people. A cold place where no living things existed, nor ever could exist. A frighteningly antiseptic place where only procedures and policies existed. A sterile hollow parody-world which was inhabited solely by grey shadowy ghosts. Grey shadowy ghosts of indescribable mendacity. I had died and been reborn as a bureaucrat.







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