Me and My Mind

fear

“There’s something frightening out there and I’m scared of it” my mind said to me out of the blue and I nearly jumped out of my body with fear.

 

Then I realized it was only my mind saying that. I realized that it was my mind saying things using my voice so I would think that it was me thinking it. My own mind was trying to scare me and it had succeeded. It had me on the run. It was pretending to be me but it wasn’t. It was telling me to be frightened and I was obeying it. I was shitting myself.

 

I could see a problem with this. Even if it was me saying this and not my mind how could that make sense? How could I be in my own head saying stuff to me? That was nonsense. Crazy stuff. Mad stuff.

 

“I’ve gone off the rails and now I’m totally insane” my mind said and again I felt the jolt of pure electric fear run through me. Cold beads of sweat were standing out on my forehead.

 

“I’ve gone very badly insane” my mind said again, pressing home its advantage.

 

Again I realized that it was only my mind telling me this stuff in order to scare me. I wasn’t going insane at all. I didn’t have to believe what my stupid fucked-up mind was saying. It could go and fuck itself as far as I was concerned.

 

“Fuck that stupid fucking old mind” my mind said, dead on cue, speaking with my own voice.

 

Fuck that stupid dumb-ass fucked-up mind” it said viciously, jumping on the bandwagon.

 

“Yeah,” I agreed, with feeling, “fuck that stupid fucked-up old mind. What does it know, anyway? I don’t have to listen to what it says…”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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