Viral Pressure

viral

I can feel the viral pressure wherever I go. No one else can feel it, but I can! It’s leaning in on me from all sides, moving in a bit closer whenever it gets a chance, edging in one me every time I take my eyes off it. Edging me out. Advancing stealthily, creeping in one me. Getting at me. Impinging. It’s the generic world, it’s people coming out with the same old stock phrases, the same poisonous clichés. It’s the same stereotyped facial expressions, manifested over and over again by random strangers passing me by in the street. It’s like someone is having a joke at my expense. It’s like fragments of pop songs you’ve heard too many times. Like familiar plot-lines on different soaps. Like this voice you’ve been hearing on the TV all your life only it’s different people with the same voice, the same voice coming out of innumerable different people’s mouths. That voice won’t ever die – it’s immortal like an amoeba…

 

It will crush everything in the end, it will wear you out with its repetitions. It’ll replace your thoughts with the standard generic version. No one else seems to be effected by the relentless viral pressure in the way that I am. They go around laughing and talking same as they always do. They can’t feel it – at least I don’t think they can feel it. I’m reasonably sure that no one else can feel it. they could all just be pretending but I don’t think so. People aren’t wily that way. I would say. I’m sure they’re not. At least I hope that they’re not – I wouldn’t like to live in the type of world where people are clever in that way! That’s the wrong sort of cleverness. That wouldn’t be good at all.

 

What kind of a world would that be like I wonder? Not a kind of a world that I’d like to know about, that’s for sure! No way do I want to be introduced to that sort of a world. And yet I know the rule as well as you do. We all know that rule – once you think of a thing then you can’t unthink it. You can’t reverse it. Not at all. Once you learn something then you can’t unlearn it in the same happy-go-lucky fashion! No sir you can’t. Once you brain has learned some weird new fucked up trick then you aren’t going to be able to forget that you learned it. No way. You’re stuck with it then. You have to get used to live with the new weird trick. This new unpleasant thing that your mind can do. Will do.

 

So anyway here I am in the viral world. Trying to work out whether everyone else is in on it or not. Sure, they don’t act like they’re in on it. They act real dumb, in fact. Real, real dumb. Supremely dumb, like it’s a joke how dumb they are! But now I’ve had the idea that maybe they are in on it after all, that maybe people aren’t really as dumb as they make out they are, that maybe they actually aren’t dumb at all but frighteningly clever and I can’t get that thought out of my head! Did you ever think that about people, that maybe they are awesomely good actors letting on that they are stupid, that each and every person you meet deserves an Oscar for their virtuoso performance? Or is it only me that has ever had this thought?

 

It’s OK – I know that you aren’t going to answer that…

 

 

 

 

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