I Like To Associate Myself With Products of Distinction

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I like to associate myself with products of distinction – I find that this says so much more about me than mere words could ever convey. Products of distinction show the world the type of a person I am – a person of distinction, a person of fine taste, a person of exquisite discernment. By associating myself with products of distinction I distinguish myself from the masses. The masses are asses! I wouldn’t want to be associated with them. They have no distinction at all. They are undistinguished and that’s why they are the masses!

 

The whole thing is to rise above this morass of mediocrity, you see, and that is why it is so important to show the world that you aren’t like all the rest, that you aren’t just another anonymous blob of protoplasm pointless surviving from day to day on nothing more than a bunch of hard-wired biological reflexes and inane social conditioning. Watching TV game shows and eating pizza. Talking about sport. Where’s the distinction in that? That is why I see it as being so important for me to associate myself with products of distinction. Products that will say something about me, products that will put me a cut above the rest, products that will elevate me from the morass of mediocrity that I abhor so much.

 

I put a lot of effort into associating myself with these products. These products of distinction. I find that they say so much more about me than words ever could. They show the world the sort of person I am. A person of distinction, a person of fine taste, a person of discernment. These products say something about me. They say that I am not just a blob of protoplasm sitting on the couch, surviving just for the sake of it, surviving just because that’s what we’re biologically supposed to. Because that’s what we inevitably will do – for a certain period of time anyway – if we sit around watching TV and eating pizza. Carrying on living because that’s just what our bodies want us to do. Carrying on eating and going to the toilet. In the endless round of undistinguished biological existence. Because that’s what evolution has programmed us to do. There’s no distinction in that…

 

How can anyone bear just to live like this, I often wonder? The very thought is abhorrent to me. That’s undoubtedly what makes me different from all the rest, what makes me distinct from the masses. My burning need to distinguish myself, my burning need to rise above the wretched mass-mindedness that we are surrounded with on all sides. Homo Uniformis, that’s what I call them. Uniformity is abhorrent to me. Mediocrity is abhorrent to me. That’s why I am always striving to associate myself with products of distinction products of distinction products of distinction products of distinction products of distinction products of distinction products of distinction products of distinction products

 

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